Another Tribute to my favorite artist - Jason Mraz. I LOVE THIS MAN! I can't even explain how much I love him. His lyrics, voice and just the good person he is... the stuff I've learned about him.
10,000 Motherfuckers (That'll do!)
Lyrics: When I wake up, And the day begins, Do I hold my breath, And count to ten, Or will it be three, We'll see, We'll see, It depends on which day of the week.
So I sing out, I sing out loud, I'm just one tiny mother fucker singing proud, Singing glory, Glory, Hallelujah, Yea, that'll do, Yea, that'll do.
In the arms, Of a city, That holds no trace, For this friendly face of you and me, Go make your life, Not a living, Singing glory, Glory, Hallelujah, Yea, that'll do.
There's things to know, And so we're told, But the days, Keep rolling on so painfully slow, They say there's ways to grow, But blow by blow, Ya see, it all gets lost somewhere, See, I already forgot.
So sing out loud, Sing out loud, You can be another mother fucker singing proud, Singing glory, Glory, Remind me, glory, glory, glory, hallelu..
We should all keep pretending, That our dreams are patent pending, You should see, Some of the scenes that I've seen, And I know love, Cause I've flown above, And beyond, But it's still too long of a wait.
So I sing out, I sing out loud, We can be 10,000 mother fuckers singing proud, Sing out glory, glory, glory, glory, hallelu.. Yea, that'll do, Yea, that'll do.
I'll sing my stories for you, And you will sing for me, too, And together, We can make it through, They say, When you sing you're praying twice, Don't that sound nice, So, rise up, Come on, and give it a try.
So sing out, Sing out loud, We can be 6 billion mother fuckers singing proud, Oh, sing it loud, Sing glory, Glory, glory, glory, Hallelu.. Hallelu.. Hallelu.. Hal.. Hal.. Hallelu.. Hallelu.. jah.. Hallelujah. Hallelu.. Oh, say hallelu.
Just a few photos my sister sent me from the Company Holiday party we had last night. It was Cherry Creek GMAC right next to Wells Fargo at the Cool River Cafe.
It was hillarious to watch as the night began (and progressed) how the Wells Fargo peeps were sooooo bored and they all kept looking over at our party going on. We were having way too much fun, the food kept coming and it was open bar. Yikes!
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer's grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeers retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Over the last two weeks I've basically stripped most of my online profiles of unnecessary information about me, and deleted "friends" what were really not friends. Some people have noticed and emailed me asking why. One reply went like this:
"Hello. I didn't delete my profile. Rather I removed a lot of information about me and photos of me, and links to my blog, etc... Why? A few reasons, but mostly just making some changes in my life that I feel will make me even happier. I’m working on making my life experience the most joyful it can possibly be.
With that in mind, I'm not interested in strangers online knowing as much about me anymore. Honestly thinking back it's kind of strange how much about me I had online. The only people who deserve to know that much about me are my real friends who legitimately care about me. This is the "information age", right? But I don't think people who don't know me need the 411 on me. Hence, the reason I took down a lot of information and removed the link to my personal blog.
I also decided that I’m not going to any gay establishments for about a year to see what difference that will make. I usually never have any fun the few times I go to them anyway, so I figure… why bother? I’ve been single now for 9-10 months and have realized a lot of things, but the most important is that I only have so much energy. And I want to dedicate my energy to higher energies that appreciate mine, and return the same. I am embarrassed to think how much time I’ve spent online or at a gay bar over the years, tolerating people who are mean, flaky, superficial, insecure, etc…
I’m too old for that nonsense now. No need for me to be around that anymore. I need to have the personal self-worth to see that I deserve better. So there’s your long winded answer! HA HA"
So begins my little experiment! I'm going to see how I feel, paying careful attention to my emotions, as I cut out the seemingly superficial social bar/club part of the gay community. I will still have the Denver Gay Professionals Happy Hour that I host monthly, and I will still go private or public "gay gatherings"... no problem. I just want to avoid the gay bar/club experience that never gave me much pleasure over the last few years to begin with. Seems like a smart choice... I'm sure many will be critical of me. But it's okay... I'm not doing this for them. This is for me.
"There is no source of evil. There is only a Stream of Well-Being, which you are allowing, or not. But under the name of righteousness and goodness and religion, you drop bombs on innocent children. And then you say, "it's for the good of all of us." And we say, we don't see that. And you don't see it from your Non-physical perspective, either. It's only in your disconnection that those things make sense." -- Abraham
Perfect quote for me to read today. I didn't apply it as much to the world, religion or politics... SURPRISE SURPRISE, eh? But rather, what's been bothering me for the past month or so is the person I talked about who I've stated is "purely evil" to everyone else. He is saying a lot of crappy stuff about me to anyone he can, and I know he's just trying to make his own personal misery less painful. But I know he (himself) is not evil, nor is some spirit or demon (as religion might teach) corrupting him to be so bad, but rather his own disconnection with the stream of Well-Being.
Abraham uses an analogy of putting your canoe in a stream. How most people get in their canoe and deliberately paddle against the stream with all their strength. Abraham asks, but why do we do that? How long can we fight against the stream? To which most would reply, "I don't know. But it's my duty to find out. It's what we all do here. It's what my mother did and her mother.. all trophies and monuments are dedicated to those who have fought the current so well.... There are even more rewards after we die for those who stayed strong against the current." Abraham watches as we become more effective at paddling upstream. We get stronger, find more effective oars, etc... A variety of versions for justification for paddling upstream!
But as Abraham says, "Nothing that you want, is upstream." The reason that they are so certain is because they understand the stream. They have seen it in it's origin. They know what they current is and where it goes. This is the stream of life. It was in motion before we came forth into our physical bodies. We add to this stream by the desires of our contrast.
This is an except from a workshop of Abraham's in LA. Although they were obviously responding to a physician's question, I've wondered something similar many times over the past year when my friend Vern took his own life and when my G'pa died.
"When you, as a physician, help someone to accept Well-being enough that they allow the Well-being, whether they allow it in this physical body or whether they have to release this physical body to allow it, it's still the same thing. In other words, they can allow the wellness into this body, or they can allow the wellness by leaving this body. But allowing the wellness is what you are assisting them in doing. Focus upon the Well-being, and see them opening and receiving it here, or opening and receiving it from Non-Physical. But focus upon the Well-being. And as you focus upon the Well-being, what we've noticed is, if you can get someone's attention and you can convince them that Well-being is the order of the day--there is no illness that will not leave them in the moment that they finally get that." - Abraham
Both my friend Vernon and my Grandpa felt it necessary to leave their body (their physical existence) in order to experience release and accept the Well-being. For years I have believed this was okay, despite what I was taught religiously. I never felt suicide was wrong. I also supported the elderly or sick who wanted the pain to go away and didn't feel like fighting for their current existence.
I now think the experience of death would be like that of an orgasm. Imagine the release of all the resistance we experience in this physical life! Imagine having all your knowledge you possessed before your physical experience back instantly! What an awakening!?!
Okay, you're gonna love these! Just remembering some of the old them songs from back in the day when I was a kid watching TV everyday. WOW! Scary that I still knew all the words.
Pinball Number Count
My commentary: I think it's humorous that this song counts to 12. Why? Of all numbers, why twelve?
My close friend's know that my favorite number for years has been 12. Not only was I born on May 12, but my best friend (my sister) was born on Dec 12th (12/12). The #12 is everywhere and it signifies so much. I think I first liked it for it's biblical correlations when I was a missionary. Twelve symbolized governmental perfection: 12 sons of Jacob, 12 Apostles, 12 tribes of Isreal, etc.. But now I've taken it's symbolism to mean something similar, but different for me...
Twelve is perfection. We have the ability to be perfect and everything points towards that. It's something we can strive for... Perfect Happiness that never falters would be my ultimate goal.
Other Twelves: 12units = dozen, 12hrs on clock, 12 months in year, 12 Jurors on a Panel, 12 Astrological Houses, 12 signs of the Zodiac, etc... the list goes on... it's a perfect number!
Reading Rainbow
My commentary: Ah!! What happened to kids shows like this? All the cartoons we have now days teach kids to dress sexy, or how to talk cool, etc... and starts to mold them into little monsters! ha ha If I had a kid, I would not want them watching TV. I'd give them a book and let their imagination run wild. Remember the word above my fireplace? Listen to the lyrics of this song... "I can go anywhere. Friends to know, and ways to grow... I can be anything!"
Back on July 18 this year I was on YouTube and did a search for "Jehovah's Witnesses" just out of curiousity to see what was up. And I came across Miss Betty Butterfield. It cracked me up so much I posted it. SEE PREVIOUS POST
Come to find out that Joey has been "tracking" Betty and watching her video's on YouTube as long as I have.. and when you watch the # of views.. it's low. So out of the millions of people that get on YouTube only a few thousand have watched Betty... and Joey and I love her sick and twisted character. We also swear that she was either a Mormon or Jehovah's Witness.. she just let's on to too much "insider" knowledge. LOL
Okay, here is yet ANOTHER example of how YouTube is being used. It's funny and shameless at the same time. It's more funny when you watch it the second time... cause then you're let in on the secret. ;-) Do you want a Lumpkin?
So my friend Joey and I were hanging out yesterday and it never ceases to amaze me what people do on YouTube!
There's this site.. a GOD AWFUL SITE called Two Girls One Cup. I do not advise going to this site! It's about the sickest shit I've ever seen. And there's this trend where people are setting up their camera's secretly to record the reactions of their friends or family upon seeing this site.
But if you care to see what this Grandma is reacting to you can google "Two Girls One Cup".
This is interesting because I have always been asked this very question by many who know I benefit from the teachings of Abraham. I hope this helps, direct from the source.
It was so nice to see this commercial from Dove. For long I've always talked about how much I hate how people (women and gay men especially) get hammered on about image. Our perception of beauty is so distorted by what we see in the media.
This great Dove Commercial really shows what goes on behind the scenes with a lot of stuff.
And I had to add these... cause as serious as life is, it's always good to be able to laugh about it, right? a parody...
I was hanging out with my friend Don yesterday and we ended up chillin back at his house. He showed me his collection of Wonder Woman DVD's (I believe he had all three seasons.) - simply hilarious! Funny how you can see the sexism even back then when they were trying NOT to be sexist by having a lead woman superhero role.
Hillary Clinton is my modern day wonder woman! GO HILLARY!
Anyway, I think I got the biggest kick out of the lyrics of the theme song, so I had to find and post them. This is for you Don! ;-)
Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman. All the world's waiting for you, and the power you possess.
In your satin tights, Fighting for your rights And the old Red, White and Blue.
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman. Now the world is ready for you, and the wonders you can do.
Make a hawk a dove, Stop a war with love, Make a liar tell the truth.
Wonder Woman, Get us out from under, Wonder Woman. All our hopes are pinned on you. And the magic that you do.
Stop a bullet cold, Make the Axis fall, Change their minds, and change the world.
Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman. You're a wonder, Wonder Woman.
"In the same way that there is not an instant wanted thing manifesting in your experience, there is not instant unwanted thing happening in your experience. It takes some adapting to vibrations. If you've managed to hold anything, wanted or unwanted, for 17 seconds -- there is a coalescing of thought that takes you a little closer to the vibration of whatever you are turning your attention to. Those 17 second increments, are not discernible. And that's why, when you get into that place, it feels like instant manifestation. Just like when you get into that negative place, it feels like instant manifestation. It's like, "Where did that come from? Seemed like it just sort of snuck up on me," instead of snuck up over a long time."- Abraham
An Australian Television Producer approached Jerry and Ester Hicks about building a show around Abraham's teachings, and because of some fortuitous events the video evolved into a DVD format before it could be turned into a show. The DVD became a huge success and as a result, millions around the world have seen it. The movie was called "The Secret".
And although the movie was named The Secret, and it's advertised intention was to reveal to the world the previously hidden secret to success, little did the enthusiastic viewers know that the REAL secret that they had been seeking, had once again been suppressed. Censored by the producers because of greed. Before the movie was released (at large) Jerry and Ester were told that the producers and "the powers that be" had demanded, among other things, that Abraham's use of the keyword "vibration" be edited out of the project.
And so it turns out the real secret behind The Secret was that The Secret was still being kept a secret!
They wanted to be able to sell what they believed the majority of the marketers would buy. Greed! And so, as some of you know, Jerry and Ester broke their contract with the producers and were no longer involved with this movie.
Abraham talks about this in a short video:
And so today I reflected on how much of my own beliefs are tied to my vibration, and I can pretty much conclude nearly 100%.
I've learned that we are all creators, and we are vibrational beings. We are more about electronics; we are more about electricity; we are more about vibration than we are about the physical stuff that we think we're about. This physical stuff that we think we're about is all vibrational.
No one can deny you or grant you anything. It all comes to you by virtue of your vibration.
Abraham has great advice regarding the vibrations that we offer, "Offer a vibration that matches your desire rather than offering a vibration that keeps matching what-is.
What you do is miniscule in comparison with what you choose to think, because your vibration is so much more powerful and so much more important."
A lot of folks don't know this... but my father and mother were 15 and 14 when they conceived me. In this picture, they had just turned 16 and 15 a couple months before I was born. But look at them!!! It's unbelievable to me still.
Okay... so I took one of my best friends Heather (arm around me below) to a fun birthday party last night. I've been to "college" parties/birthday parties before, but this one definitely takes the cake, for pure craziness.
The birthday girl, Makia (with the pirate hat on), was so crazy. I had no idea.. I loved it! Her roommates surprised her with a stripper... whom she completely mauled! The guy didn't have a clue what to do. It was the more insane thing I've seen. At once point the stripped mentioned to his buddy/body guard and some other guys that were there, "I feel like I'm in a cage."
Well, my father is definitely off to a new start in life. He's been out of prison now for over 2 months and it seems like it's taking some time to adjust to "normal" life again. I can only imagine!
He got a place of his own finally... but waaay up in the mountains! How peculiar - took me forever to get to. It's a cute place, one bedroom, one bath and a one car garage. His landlord is into trains and built this elaborate train track with a train that can haul a couple full size adults around.
I'm about to start cross training in BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu), so was on youtube checkin stuff out. I love the throwing in Judo so I think that may be the sport I compete in mostly, but BJJ will only compliment my ground work. This short flick is a Judo player (white) against BJJ (blue).
OH... and I had to add this video, just cause this little 9yo girl kicks ass!! This video is all Judo, and mostly Ne Waza (grappling, not throwing). But just shows how good these kids get at such an early age.
Whenever I get to class early I get to watch the juniors class finishing up.. mostly 5-10 year olds. It's great to watch.
This is a clip from the original movie/documentary "The Secret". This movie was really my first introduction to Abraham. As Ester would speak throughout the entire film chills were sent down my spine. Everything she said resonated with me, like nothing before.
It's funny cause anytime I hear those two words... I think a Miss America pageant. ha ha Right? "... and world peace!"
Of course... my Abraham blog entry of the day.... but really, Abraham said it so perfectly!
"World peace, means one mindset big enough to make the decisions about what everybody else wants, and the rest of the world conforming. That is the ultimate definition of world peace. You say, "Oh, let's get along!" And what each of you mean is, "You do what I want." A peaceful world means, "Everybody wanting what I want. Going along with what I want." And the only problem with that is, there are more than one of you, and you have endless desires that are born within you.
The ultimate experience is, everyone having their experience and launching their individual rockets of desire, and the Universe yielding to all of them simultaneously. And everybody not worrying about what anybody else created, and so, then allowing what they are wanting. What a world that is, when there are endless desirers, who are allowing the fulfillment of their own desires."
Grrr... I get in a bad mood sometimes... this would be that time! LOL
I'm tired of hearing people thank GOD for helping them win an award, or win a game, or help them defeat an enemy (i.e. in war). GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!
Anyone who thinks god is on their side is a complete fool. How asinine to believe that god would take sides in any earthly matters. What a trivial mind to believe something so idiotic! GOD is not helping anyone defeat anyone! The only one that can ever defeat any of you is yourself. And it sounds like many have done a pretty good job of that too! LOL
"The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy!
And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy.
If it is your dominant intent to hold yourself in vibrational harmony with who you really are, you could never offer any action that would cause anybody else to be unhappy."- Abraham
I was briefly interviewed by a writer with Colorado Confidential. The write up had a reply from another guy in Australia that encouraged me to reply yet again. I hope sharing my story will help others.
Colorado Confidential is an award-winning independently-produced political news daily featuring original and investigative reporting.
As a coalition of long-time progressive bloggers, freelance writers, and professional journalists our aim is to enhance and expand the political dialogue in the Centennial State. By combining the immediacy of blogging with time-honored journalistic inquiry, Colorado Confidential intends to provide a platform for overlooked stories, policy and campaign analysis, and unique local perspectives on the important issues of the day.
2007 has been quite the year for me on a number of fronts. But mostly because I've taken my life back in full force. I no longer feel a slave to my job, or my home, or to friends or certain social expectations. I'm content with life how it is, yet I believe I can have so much more... and ironically it's all starting to happen!
I came across a quote today that said, "Reduce your workload by 30% and increase your fun load by 30% and you will increase your revenues by 100%. And you will increase your productivity by 10,000%. (If there could be such a percentage.) More fun, less struggle -- more results on all fronts."
BRILLIANT! That's exactly what I've been doing this year, and it works!!
Not kidding people, it works. The more I enjoy my life and have fun with it, the more I've learned to love my work as well, and I do better at it. Seems like a simple concept... cause it is.
Went to see ACROSS THE UNIVERSE... ... and was completely surprised. I will DEFINITELY own this video, and highly recommend it to any and all of my friends. It's wonderful. Here's the preview!
The same day I buy my plane tickets to Toronto my sister sends me this video. (WARNING: Do not view if you're offended easily by nudity.) I immediately sent this to my friend Matt and asked if I need to be concerned about being on the streets of Toronto. HA HA HA
I'm very excited today. I just booked my flight to Toronto to go and visit my friend Matt.I met Matt MANY MANY years ago when he was still living back home in Sydney. He moved out to Toronto (when I was in Vermont) and we finally got to meet in person. He's one of the very few I've stayed in touch with over the years and a great guy. I can hardly wait to see him again and meet his boyfriend of what... 6+ years, Todd.
Plus the timing of this trip worked out real nice, as I'm joining Matt & Todd on a road trip to Montreal for the weekend. Very exciting. What's funny, is here's the only picture I have of Matt & Todd from 2006. You can probably guess that Matt's the goof in back. ;-)
All of my friends (including my own brother) are having children. I'm so jealous!
I knew I always wanted a child (or two) since my early 20's. Even when Marcus and I were dating and he was so avid against even the thought of children even 10+ years down the road I pretty much gave in to the thought of never having them.
Sure, life would be easier, that's for sure. But I can't even imagine all the joys of rearing children. Adoption or otherwise, I'm pretty sure this is going to be part of my future over the next few years before I turn 40. WHEW I guess I have nine (9) years to plan! HA HA
Because others cannot vibrate in your experience, they cannot affect the outcome of your experience. They can hold their opinions, but unless their opinion affects your opinion, their opinion matters not at all. A million people could be pushing against you, and it would not negatively affect you unless you push back. They are affecting what happens in their experience. They are affecting their point of attraction -- but it does not affect you unless you push against them.
I have to admit, when I see our beloved President I get nauseous. I haven't experienced many past presidents personally, but of course I've read the history about them all and can safely say I think our current president and administration is the worst our country has had since it was Columbus landed.
But when I start to think about the problems in the world it makes me feel sick. I find myself getting upset and it doesn't feel right to me. I don't feel I'm in vibrational harmony with what I want, and how I want the world to be. When I take the problems of the world on my shoulders, my body doesn't feel so good. It's just that simple.
With everything I've learned from Abraham, I think I'll just leave the problems of the world to the individual problem-makers of the world, and I'll be the joy-seeker that I am. I'm responsible for my own happiness and I'm going to do my part for my own environment, and hence the world's environment.
Okay, some of you have been in my house before. This is a picture I just took with my phone sitting on my couch while writing this blog entry. I have a word above my fireplace that I see everyday when I come down the stairs and begin my day. It's a reminder to Imagine.
It's very important to me... to imagine. It's the key to many things... it's could be said that it's the key to everything. Friends always ask me what it means, why I have a frickin WORD above my fireplace instead of a some purdy picture.. lol
Before I explain, here's a quote I got today from Abraham that inspired me to write this entry in my blog right now:
"Leverage your time more by spending a little more time every day imagining and a lot less time every day doing. Do a little more imagining and a little more less doing. Until eventually most of what's happening is happening in the cool, calm, anticipatory state. Just imagine yourself into the successes, and watch what happens. Imagine a little more and act a little less."--- Abraham
Thank you Abraham, for reminding me today about this!
The reason it's prominent above my fireplace is as a reminder (as I mentioned) but also to spark conversation so that I can tell my friends about the importance of imagining. One of my favorite quotes (and ironically the name of my blog) is from Albert Einstein, who said: "Imagination is everything. It's the preview of life's coming attractions." That quote thrilled me the first time I heard it because of how true it is. How brilliant men and women of the past were who knew the secret of the Law of Attraction. What you put out there, is what you get back.
Therefore, what you imagine, dream, pray about, focus upon... is what WILL happen! As Abraham always says, "Every time, without exception!" I know it sounds strange to hear this, but it's true. It's the greatest law in the universe. If only we could stay in that mindset and not keep getting distracted by the negative nay-sayers or the conditioning we've had that keeps up limiting ourselves.
Think about it... when you're a child you're imagination is fresh and you have the best raw use of it. You're entire backyard at times was transformed into an ocean, and your swingset - a pirate ship. ;-) There are few limits and you think anything is possible. One day you're a doctor and the next day you're a pilot. It's wonderful! But it doesn't take long before our conditioning begins. From birth we're taught limitations. We're told "NO", and we're shown to believe what our parents what us to, including the introduction to religion (which becomes more controlling and suppressing). And slowly but surely, we begin to lose our imagination. We loose sight of the fact that we wanted to travel to other worlds, we lost sight of the fact that we wanted to travel the world on the ocean, or save lives, or whatever... we're taught that we are all different from each other. What a mess! What a LIE!
So do something for yourself, and I'll remain doing it for myself. IMAGINE!
My friend Patrick and I hung out last night and he was telling me about a friend of his from KU that was hanging out with some buds in his door and sprayed his roommate with Fabreez. His roommate got pissed and grabbed the first thing on his desk (scissors) and threw it at him. This is great!
My favorite line, "there are fucking scissors sticking out of my fucking arm!" HA HA HA
There will be a time, not so far from now, that you will look back on this phase of your life and instead of condemning it or beating up on it... Instead of blaming or guilting, you will feel appreciation for it, because you will understand that a renewed desire for life was born out of this time period that will bring you to physical heights that you could not have achieved without the contrast that gave birth to this desire.
Just got back from Lake Powell with some of the funnest guys ever! Here's some of the 900+ photos we took. HA HA What a beautiful place, my gosh! Very relaxing!
If you believe that something is good, and you do it, it benefits you. If you believe that something is bad, and you do it, it is a very detrimental experience.
On of my all time favorite songs. Just never saw the video until now... Personally, I like the second video which was where I first heard the song. It was the Final Show of Six Feet Under (of my all time favorite shows too).
I know that before I got into martial arts I had no clue about it. Couldn't tell you the difference between Karate, Kung Fu, Jiu-Jitsu, Judo... and I didn't even know about Akihito and many others. But I looked into some of these arts before choosing the one I thought was best for me.
As much as I wanted to go into my friend David's studio at Colorado Brazilian JuJitsu I found myself attracted to the throws in Judo. I know I'll end up at David's studio soon to learn more of the grappling (ne-waza) work.
Here's two videos that will show you what I've been doing all summer. Not to their degree obviously but I hope to start competing in October.
2006 US Open Ippons
Judo Newaza Grappling International Fights (I love about 1 min into the video you see a guy get choked out.)
Really weird poodle exercise video for humans. This is a mesmerizing and frightening video. It's a word-for-word parody of Susan Powter's first workout video, featuring poodles and a crazy poodle-woman. Absolutely surreal. It was made by Nagi Noda for Panasonic. It was part of 10 films they made for the 2004 Athens Olympics.
I have to say, I have two awesome roommates living with me now. It took a while to find the right people and it wasn't fun finding the wrong ones.
First I get screwed over by this flakey guy named Danny C. (we'll spare the last name) who holds out on signing his lease, but lets me know he's moving in on the 3rd of March. I keep checking up on him over and over and he keeps saying he'll stop by to sign it, but it never happens. Meanwhile I'm telling a few other people it's unavailable. Danny says he'll just take care of the lease on moving day. Well that day arrives, but he doesn't. Finally calls me back the next day and says some family stuff came up and now he's moving out of town. Come to find out later, it's a complete story and he basically just held out and screwed me over, with no apology. Yeah... there are people like that! LOL
Then I get this young roommate named Sean B. (again, we'll spare the last name) who used to date my friend Cody, and he seemed nice enough. But little do I know this kid is a pathological lair that has been telling everyone about how he inherited $60 plus million dollars from his family. Yeah, and that's why he needs to rent from me? LOL But he had a story for that! Actually, like any good liar, he had a story for EVERYTHING! Needless to say when he could pay his rent on time his first month (April) I warned him about paying on time in May. When RENT-A-CENTER started knocking on the door to pick up the brand new furniture and flat screen TV that he told us he had just bought... his stories started to unravel quickly. The last straw was him paying late on the 9th of May with a bad check from an account he had closed a while back. So of course it bounces on me and I evict him.
WOW, I was off to a great start! Being a landlord isn't all what it's cracked up to be!
However, Erin found me off CL and moved in mid-May, and he's awesome. I'm lucky we get along so well. So the rest of May, June, and July it was just Erin and I. I had many opportunities, but no one seemed "just right". We met Eric (moving back out from Wisconsin) and it was obvious he would fit perfectly. And we were right. We all have a great time together and have started to hang out together.
Fun times... like last night... ohhhhh lord...
This is what happens when you indulge in the drinks or smokes too much! I go to take a drink and without noticing I bring the lighter up to light it.
I don't have any pictures of Erin right now, but here's Eric and Mary. Eric just moved in this month.
(oh yeah, Mary has some demons she's fighting... LOL)
One of the most amazing song on her new album. I love the lyrics, of course! Personally, I think this song is a great motto to have. Like it or not. ;-)
One of the hardest things for me to do is appreciate the contrast in life. Appreciate that not everyone has the same likes and dislikes, character/personality and beliefs, etc... Someone may annoy the hell out of you, but at least it helps you appreciate those that don't. It's the ying and yang of life baby!
A quote from Abraham last week: "As you diminish contrast, you diminish your ability to decide, and as you diminish your ability to decide, you diminish your ability to focus, and as you diminish your ability to focus, you do away with your reason for existing."
Excerpted from a workshop in Orlando, FL on Saturday, February 15th, 1997
You're picky about the car you drive. You're picky about what you wear. You're picky about what you put in your mouth. We want you to be pickier about what you think.
Excerpted from a workshop in Napa, CA on Thursday, February 27th, 1997
I've been talking about this commercial to a few people. Why? Because I may not be a HUGE environmentalist, but I try to do my part with everything I can. Because I talk about it, and share knowledge about it and encourage others to do their part too. Because the only time I am frustrated is when I talk to old people who don't think it's their problem... but because they don't want to sound selfish... they choose to sound ignorant and say there is no problem. I've been told my sister's boyfriend's father, that we're all just "blowing everything out of proportion". I think the worst comment (and most offensive comment) I ever heard was 2 years ago from my best friend's mother. She said that she thought it was completely fine that Bush wanted to drill for oil in the wildlife refuge in Alaska because God gave us this earth to use and it's in his hands, we shouldn't worry about it. WOW!
"We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be—which takes care of everything. Even if you don't have reason to be happy—make it up. Fantasize it. Make a decision that you're going to be happy one way or another—no matter what. "No matter what, I'm going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody; if I have to never watch television again; if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I'm going to be happy. If I never have to see that person's face again, I'm going to be happy. If I have to see that person's face, I'm going to find something to see in that person's face that makes me happy. I'm going to be happy. I'm going to be happy. I'm going to be happy."
Excerpted from a workshop in Sacramento, CA on Saturday, March 15th, 2003
"The reason the grandchildren will benefit by the "launched rockets" (analogy of your desires, creations, etc...) that you've set forth; is because they're born with no resistance to the rockets of desires that you've launched forth... You've seen those little ones on computers? They have no problem with that. They were born with computers in their life; they're born cable-ready. They're already up to speed with what you've launched into the vibrational future. And that's one of the reasons that it's nice when the old ones croak and the new ones come in, because it sort of dilutes the resistance factor that's going on on this planet." This was the Daily Quote a few days ago that I just had to laugh about. I love it!
First off, I love how Abraham refers to dieing as "croaking" because it almost mocks how grave (pun intended) people make death out to be. I've always felt like death was hardly the end, and only a return to my source. I feel like death is simply the end of my physical existence which is full of resistance. So what a release it must be! Abraham also said this about death: "Everyone who makes this transition experiences the relief of the release of such resistance. And as we reemerge into that pure positive energy knowing fully who we are, we never look back with a moments regret."
Anyway, I also love how Abraham talks about the "old ones" as a great source of resistance. Which explains even more why I've always had such a hard time with the elderly. Don't get me wrong, I respect them entirely... but rarely appreciate their contributions unless they continue to expand, learn, and grow with the world. Otherwise, it really is time they just make their transition and let the rest of the world prosper progressively. I know when it's my time, I'll be ready to go!!
Donielle and I went to Chris Lovio's party a while back this summer and ran into Alan. Apparently we took some pictures that I never got off my camera. Just found them! Maybe they should have stayed on there?
Get out into the sunlight, out where everything is, with a vibration that is so dominant that those who annoy you, those who don't agree with you, those who make your life feel uncomfortable don't come into your experience, because your vibration, through your practice, has become so clear, so pure, so clean, so in keeping with what you want, that the world that revolves around you just feels like that. That's what you planned.
Excerpted from a workshop in San Rafael, CA on Friday, March 9th, 2001
My friend Chris sent this to me and I was quite impressed with it. This is such a good illustration of the universe. I've never quite seen it put this way. It's exciting to imagine all the possibilities from this perspective, isn't it?
Antares (the last photo you'll see in this group) is the 15th brightest star in the sky. It is more than 1000 light years away.
Many around you want to point out "reality" to you. They say, "Face the facts. Look at what-is." And we say to you, if you are able to see only what-is—then, by Law of Attraction, you will create only more of what-is... You must be able to put your thoughts beyond what-is in order to attract something different or something more. Excerpted from a workshop in “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham” on Saturday, July 1st, 2006
I think I'm going to occasionally put some of my thoughts on my blog. Every morning I get an email from Abraham-Hicks and I wake up and grab my cell phone to check the email. It's always a thought that makes me think. It usually starts my day off helping me be more appreciative or simply more aware and better empowered to create the day ahead of me.
So, I think I'll share some of these thoughts on here. At least the ones that stand out to me.
Today's quote was from a workshop they did back in 2003, and it has to do with our physical health. If you've seen the movie "The Secret", you've been introduced to the thought of mind over matter... or mind over health. It's probably one of the hardest concepts for me to "buy into" but I know it's true. It's all about the Law of Attraction. That which we focus on, think on, or expect is what will be delivered to us.
"The majority have been programmed from their past experience to expect physical decline. And while it is something they don't want, they are programmed to expect it. And so, they're going to get what they expect. It's not that what they expect is the reality that everyone lives, but that everyone lives the reality of what they expect."
By The Associated Press Article Last Updated: 07/25/2007 12:39:25 PM MDT
Telluride — Telluride Town Council members have voted 6-1 to call for the impeachment of President Bush and Vice President Cheney.
If the measure survives a second reading Aug. 7, it would become the town's official position.
Community leaders said they had endured criticism from near and far following last week's vote, but at least one council member said that was because people do not understand the town's home-rule municipality.
Andrea Benda said the town has two choices whenever citizens initiate an ordinance: adopt it, or put it on the ballot.
With liberal voters outnumbering conservatives 5-to-1 in Telluride, Benda said she did not think it was necessary for the impeachment issue to become part of local campaigning this fall.
Telluride Tourism Board executive Scott McQuade said the town was no stranger to controversy, and he didn't see the matter becoming a major issue.
McQuade said he understood that some people would not agree with the measure, but said people who don't approve of Telluride the way it is might want to stay away so they don't end up being disappointed.
Okay, this video goes out to all my ex-Jehovah's Witness friends and fellow Mo's! I donno who this Betty Butterfield is, but she needs to lay off the dope. Even as messed up as she is, she's right about the Jehovah's Witnesses and the gay boys at the MCC. LOL I love it.
You cannot look at that which you do not want and not join and perpetuate that vibration. Take your attention from that which is not in harmony with who you are, and in taking your attention from it, your "now vibration" will adjust to who you really are, and then you can uplift others.
Okay, so you have to 'check out' Google Checkout. You can get to it anytime by typing www.google.com/checkout. The logo looks like this:
My exceptionally nice Shure E3c Sound Isolating Earphones were stolen at the gym two weeks ago, and I haven't been able to get in a good workout since. I know that sounds lame, but music is very key to me getting in a good workout or even keep me motivated to run longer, bike stronger, etc... Shitty headphone (and most of them are) just don't do it for me. Especially after having Shure headphone! In my opinion, no one makes better in-ear phone than Shure... not even Bose!
But I decided to check out the prices and the E3c is still going for $199.00 as it was year and half ago when I bought them. But since then they've improved on it twice. I cannot afford the E5c but I just want more extended bass, so I am interested in the E4c Earphones.
E4c Sound Isolating Earphones
Anyway, I went to the Apple store.. E4c's are $350... on Shure's website, $319.00... (never trust eBay, been fucked over twice on that site) but how wonderful is Google Checkout... it checks out all the online vendors of the product and you can find the most affordable on your own. I got these headphones for $169 + $22 in shipping! HELL YEAH!!
Got a mesage from a new friend - my reply became therapeutic!
my friends message:
"Hey bud,
So, you've been all over my mind tonight. Maybe I'm way off... but I've always thought the guy that goes out on a limb is way cooler than the one that stays quietly inside his box...
So here goes... I think I just kinda put all the pieces together. The song on your profile, the fact that you talk about Marcus ALL the time, the fact that 6 months or a year or whatever it is later meeting for a drink is still awkward and emotional.
Here's my two cents. I know you really loved him... but based on what you said you definitely dumped this guy for all the right reasons. Here's my thing though... you've already been hurt once (or twice or ten times whatever the case is)... really badly... you probably still are... so what's being hurt again? Honestly if your heart wants the guy back and your heads telling you no... I would tell you to go for it because maybe it works out. AND if it doesn't, are you really gonna be hurt much worse than you already are?? If anything I think it will be easier to break up with him after this break you guys took.
On the other hand, if you're really confident in your decision and you're just missing this guy cuz you miss having someone there... I would tell you to do the exact opposite. He's not worth fretting about... lol so why give him power over you by missing him??
I don't know if any of this made sense. Just wanted you to hear... lol I guess from someone that barely knows you... that you're an AWESOME guy (definately one of the coolest ones I've ever met) and fretting about Marcus either way is really a waste of your time because you're better than that....
Thank god you're not one that stays quietly inside your box!
Thanks for the email. Very kind of you. I have to say I FUCKING HATE CONNEXION more than anything right now. I spent about 30 minutes replying to you, and hit send and the mother fucking system said there was a send error. When I hit back to try again, it had lost my entire message to you. I am so sick of that site! ANYWAY...
I guess I get the wonderful privilege of bleeding my heart out again! LOL Just kidding! Actually it was partially therapeutic writing back to you. The more I think through everything the better. In fact, I'm going to see my therapist on Monday for the first time in many months. I just feel I need to spend some time talking though everything that's happened over the last five months.
So to reply and answer (or explain) a bit of my situation, there's a few things you should know.
First off, I didn't "dump" Marcus. In fact, if anyone was "dumped" it was me. LOL But that's not the way it happened. He knew it didn't feel right anymore and there were some other things acting as the catalyst for this decision, but in the end we both agreed and mutually chose to end the relationship. We felt as if we held on much longer just because we loved each other, that eventually we'd resent each other for keeping one another from the other ambitions and passions we wished to pursue. He is 24 now and was going to Oxford and then possible the east coast for grad school and I was more stationary here in Denver. (However, ironic... that now that I'm single, I'm actually considering moving again. ha ha)
So when Marcus got back in town Friday and called me to grab a coffee or whatever, it was nice to hear from him and a shock cause I didn't know exactly which day he was coming back. But of course I went and met him and we grabbed a drink. I felt as thought I was a bit more reserved than usual. I'm not sure why, or how to explain it, but I'm sure it was just some unnecessary defense mechanism. Soon as I saw him, it was like seeing my brother or sister. It was like seeing someone that will always make me happy.
So yeah, I was a bit awkward as I mentioned, but he wasn't doing anything to make me feel this way. And even thought I love him very much, I don't think we'd be good for each other (dating-wise) right now or in the near future. So it's not like I long to have him back as a boyfriend, I'm just glad to have him back. He's my best friend, and I missed him dearly while he was in England.
The only thing that still has me messed up in the head is the fact that the reason we split up is in direct conflict with his (rather immediate) action of finding a new boyfriend soon as he got to England. I'll admit, I never got jealous or upset, but I'm still super confused. But when I logically look at the situation, I remind myself that it doesn't involve me anymore and that I should just be happy for him, if he's happy. Why we split up is based almost solely on the fact that Marcus was not able to grow as a person because he became so reliant on me. He would put me in a more dominate/decisive position in the relationship, having me make a lot of the decisions. He was comfortable... too comfortable! And in a sense, I was getting too comfortable too. I wasn't being ambitious about much, just stuck in a rut, and putting my relationship ahead of everything else.
Sure, there are/were probably many things we could do to work on not being comfortable and trying to be more independent in the relationship, but we had been trying for two plus years at that point. It was FAR from just throwing in the towel. We worked through everything.
Overall, Marcus was not comfortable in his own skin and needed some time with "just Marcus" to really get to know himself, and figure somethings out in his head. Completely understandable, right? So you can imagine my surprise when after only a few weeks of being in England he tells me about this boy he met named Harry, and now they're boyfriends. Not only that, but he's coming out to Denver at the end of August to visit. He's not sure why he's dating him, but he likes him. He knows this is not what he needs right now and he knows it goes against the main reason why WE split up, but he does so anyways. Sign of weakness, insecurity, dependency? Maybe. Probably. More than likely! However... it's now what makes him smile. It's now what makes Marcus happy, and truly what else is the purpose in life?
So as the "other brother" I promised Marcus I would be... I am glad for him. Marcus' experience in this physical life is going to be one of many surprises and MANY DRASTIC CHANGES. This I know, this he knows! I'm happy being there for him, supporting him and comforting him. I'm happy sharing any part of my experience with him as well.
I think far too many people have an overly complicated outlook on life and relationships, when in reality it's so simple and beautiful it humbles the most arrogant of us all. But most are arrogant (most religion is arrogant) and arrogance is ignorance; the antithesis of anything beautiful, in my opinion.
I'm beginning to ramble, but I guess in conclusion you can rest assured that I personally am very happy and enJOYing my experience over these last few months of being single. It's taken some getting used to, and there was an adjustment period, but it's great.
I feel we all free to choose to discover new avenues for our joy. In my joy I will grow; and in my growth I will add to the growth of All-That-Is (the Universe, God, each other). I will add to the growth of each one of us, to all of us... being happy and joyful contributes to the growth and prosperity of everyone. It's just one of my contributions! ;-) LOL
