SAND and STONE

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE ".

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY
TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.

New CD - Endless Romance!

If you're interested in this CD... I'll make you a copy! ;-)

Pulminary Edema

April 12, 2007

Yeah, real wonderful eh? I went into the hospital on Tuesday for a minor surgery, and the anesthesiologist fucks up putting me under. I wake up with my lungs full of blood and coughed blood for the entire day into the next morning. They had to keep me overnight until I could breath on my own again.

Real fun stuff I'm telling ya! I can breath good again, and even ran a mile this Tuesday, and started back with my trainer on Wednesday. I'm pretty sure I'm fine now, but i do have an appointment with the Pulmonary Clinic to check on my acute edema I had.

Alanis Morissette "My Humps" video

TOO FUNNY!

My Tattoo

Okay, it's done! I have my tattoo designed. Okay, I've had the design for a few months now, but I'm ready to get it done now. It's going to be the size of a grapefruit or so in the center of my upper back. It's very symbolic.

The original design was from NASA with the planet Mars behind it. It was meant to represent how life with start new again on another planet if we could find water on Mars. I was looking for a tattoo (even drawing one myself) VERY similar to this already and was blown away when I came across NASA's design. I got rid of the planet, and finally I have the tattoo I was looking for.

For me it means a lot. The water is a symbol of life, for without it there is none. It is also one of the four elements. The Phoenix bird is a symbol of rebirth and renewal among other things. it is also one of the four elements - fire. I am an earth sign... A Taurus. So this first tattoo of mine will complete three of the four elements and represents everything in my life over the past few years. My appreciation for life, finding myself, finding my beliefs and becoming more centered and balanced.

My next tattoos (yes, I will have 2 or 3) will complete the elements (w/ WIND) and will somehow include my favorite number 12 (which has great significance with me) and my favorite word, Renovatio (Latin meaning: renewal, renovation, restoration).

Bear to make a difference! - MSF Gala 2007

Thanks to my dear friend Rick Kramer, I was invited to join him at this year's gala for the Matthew Shephard Foundation. The whole event was beautiful and I wasn't prepared for how emotionally draining it would be.

Matthew Shephard Foundation Gala

I also learned about the True Colors Tour that I have to go to, organized by Cyndi Lauper. The link is http://www.truecolorstour.com

For the first time ever, music legends and today’s hottest artists take the stage for a historical musical event - Cyndi Lauper, Erasure, Debbie Harry, The Dresden Dolls, The Gossip and The Misshapes with host Margaret Cho join in celebration of the inaugural True Colors concert tour in support of the Human Rights Campaign. This 15 city nationwide tour, presented by Logo, kicks off Gay & Lesbian Pride Month on June 8th at Las Vegas’ MGM Grand Garden Arena. The concerts will feature five hours of nonstop music with other exciting special guests appearing on select dates throughout the tour including Rufus Wainwright, Rosie O’Donnell and Indigo Girls with additional guests to be announced.

The True Colors Tour was conceived by Cyndi Lauper stemming from her desire to give back to the community for the love and support they have given her throughout her career. Through a joint program with the Human Rights Campaign-the nation’s largest organization working for GLBT equality - as well as PFLAG and The Matthew Shepard Foundation, the True Colors Tour will bring together Americans across the country to voice their solidarity against discrimination and for equality and raise public awareness about the issues facing the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community. One dollar of every ticket sold will benefit the work of the Human Rights Campaign.

The concert is at Red Rocks on Sun, Jun 10, 2007 at 6:00 PM, and if anyone wants to join me... I'd like to get a small group to go.

Prices are:
Reserved (Rows 1-47) US $65.50 - US $80.50
General Admission (Rows 48-69) US $50.50

Marcus' Going Away Party

Marcus' going away party was a complete success. I couldn't believe the weather was so perfect. About 60 plus friends showed to wish him farewell and good luck. He was to leave on Wednesday at 2:00pm for England. Here are some pictures from the party.

CLICK ON IMAGE FOR GALLARY

Marcus Going Away Party

Face Reality

Never face reality unless your reality is just the way you want it to be.

What are you planning?

I had two great excerpts from reading this weekend that I thought I'd share:

"The Universe does not know or care whether the vibration that you're offering is in response to something you are living right now and observing, or in response to something you are imagining. In either case, the Universe accepts it as your point of attraction and matches it."

"Whatever you're thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you're worrying, you are planning. When you're appreciating you are planning... What are you planning?"

Little about Mr. A - Z

Thought I would share with y'all the most amazing artist to me. His lyrics inspire me, and his sound draws me in every time. He's extremely talented and if you haven't heard him already here's a taste.

TelluTRI - I'm doing my first triathlon!!

Okay, here's something very ironic! My favorite number is 12. Most everyone knows this. The number 12 has oddly been associated with everything good in my life thus far. I was born on May 12, my sister was born on 12-12, I started dating Marcus on Aug 12.... and now... I'm starting training for my first triathlon today. March 12, 2007

I think it's a sign that I'm going to do well. I guess first I need to learn to swim. HA HA --- No, really... no joke! I have no clue how to swim becuase I never tried. And to think I dated an Olympic Gold Medalist for 2+ years that was a swimmer, but I took no lessons. IDIOT! I know.

Anyway, my buddy Josh is incredible. He's a Lifestyle and Fitness Coach. Owns his own business called Pure... just not sure if his website is working right yet. Anyway, I have wanted to start training with him since the day I got a "sample" workout with him and couldn't move for days. I approached him about training and not only am I a client now, but I am going to do a triathlon with him. Something I've always wanted to do!

The gig is called TelluTRI. It's at TelluTRI.com. It's 3/4 mile swim, 43 mile bike, and 5 mile run. It's the highest altitude triathlon in the country, and I don't look forward to getting in 50 degree water... even with a wetsuit.

Any comments or wishes are appreciated... or maybe you've done one and have some great tips!

Shoes!

My friend Derek shared this with me... WAY TO WIERD & FUNNY

Dreaming about Jesus

Had this dream yesterday and woke up laughing my ass off.

So the dream starts off with me at some sort of religious gathering, like Easter or something. I'm there with my family and even helping out with the services. (Which is ironic considering I get wheezy anytime I come near a church!)

Then somehow, out of the hundred plus people there, I AM THE ONE THAT GETS CHOSEN to go bury Jesus body. WHAT?? ha ha I'm given a slip with an address and told I need to bury Jesus there.

Of course I enlist the help of my sister. Donielle is gaggy and bitching, but being a total sport and we get outside, and have no clue where the place is. My car isn't reliable, so we ask my mom to drive and she gets defensive and says, "Ummm, I got a fucking pound of cocaine in my car. I can't get caught with coke AND Jesus' dead body!"

Donielle and I look at each other in disbelief. "YOU'RE DRIVING!" We get Jesus loaded up, and find out the building is only 2 blocks away. My mom is pissed that she took a risk for only two blocks and kicks us out. Jesus is thrown to the curb!

We realize we have to bury him on the rooftop, just one problem. When we get inside, they're working on the elevators. JUST OUR LUCK. Now we have to carry Jesus up 18 flights of stairs. I was in the lead and Donielle took up the tail. Right when we're almost at the rooftop, we run into two of my gay friends who just became Daddy's. They stop us in the hall and are showing me their new baby girl. I get distracted and Donielle is left with Jesus. She goes up top and buries him. It kind of gets fuzzy from there... but hell... I don't know if I could take anymore!

State of the Soul

My friend Zack asked me tonight what was my "state of soul". I might be accused of being "deep" but I had to reply with, "What do you mean?"

I had just finished telling him about my latest state of affairs and he helped put things into perspective a bit. He said, "Perfect love casts out all fear." Now I've heard this quoted before usually with religious reference talking about unconditional love from God. But, tonight I thought, how about our acceptance of each other? Maybe that's why he asked about my state of soul. How comfortable am I with everything that's gone down in the last three weeks? I've been having a very hard time without Marcus. I love him and miss him dearly. But maybe that love needs to start shedding some fears, ya think?

When is love conditional and when is it unconditional? When it casts out all fear?

Last night I broke down uncontrollably. In hindsight it was embarrassing, but at the time I was simply scared and lonely. I called Marcus in a moment of weakness and quickly realized my mistake. After few words, I hung up feeling even worse and knew I needed to "get it together".

The truth is I do love Marcus... unconditionally.

When I am struggling, I need to remind myself of times like now when I am clear minded.

Since the very beginning I've never wanted to change a thing about him. He's not perfect, but he sure as hell is perfect to me. I've only wanted the best for him and nothing has changed. I went back and read the "testimony" I left him four days after we split up.

"Marcus – There’s absolutely nothing I can say or write that will come close to expressing how deeply I care for you and how grateful I am for the last four years – the best four years of my life thus far. You’ve inspired me beyond imagination and helped me learn that it takes no time to fall in love, but it takes years to truly know what love is. --- You’re my best friend, and always will be. I know you know this! But you also need to know that I’ll be your other brother – another love to come and comfort you - and I’ll keep reminding you (if it’s the only thing I ever do) that I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

More than anything, I want to see you succeed gloriously in this world. Make your mark, take a bite out of it, shake it, take control and you will inevitably wind up finding for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you. --- As our song says: “I will be the answer, at the end of the line. I will be there for you, while you take the time. In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground… Cause I can only tell you what I know, that I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE. When the stars have all gone out, you’ll still be burning so bright.”

I find it ironic that only four days after ending the most amazing relationship in my life, I was able to think that soundly. I guess my feelings are going to fluctuate - but I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm going to focus my attention there as best I can.

Marcus - If you ever end up reading this, I hope it doesn't bother you that it's on my blog for family or friends to read. If it bothers you, I'll promptly remove it. It's become a bit therapeutic for me and I don't fear being a bit open about it.

Marcus, you deserve all the love and praise my soul inevitably pours out. I can't thank you enough for loving me as purely as you do and helping me see that it's equally as safe for me to love you without limitation. If I've caused you to worry - don't. I'm very strong and I'm only growing stronger. Before you I had so much clouding my mind. But, the uncertainty and "ghosts" are gone now. You've instilled a bright hope in me - a new dream of becoming more at peace with myself and content with my own soul. I will not let this hope be distorted by internal needs or external influences. I will remind myself that this hope is a gift from YOU. One that I will cherish for eternity.

So the next time when someone asks, what is my state of soul? I have an answer.

"Finding some peace."

Mexico - Villa Cortez

Well it was definitely nice to get away for a while in Mexico. I went to Puerto Penasco, which is about 2 hours south of Phoenix, AZ. So the flight was cheap ($91 round trip) and it was an easy car drive.

This area of Mexico has only been "touched" by Americans really over the last two years and WOW, what a difference. It's BOOMING there. The purpose of this three day trip was to investigate a development that my development sales and marketing team - Fuse - is considering selling. The project is called Villa Cortez and there will be more about it on my real estate blog soon.

Here are some pictures from the trip.

Soon as we got off the plane we were STARVING... went to an authentic Mexican Restaurante!

After lunch we took a boat out along miles of the coast to see all the new development.
This town used to be a huge shrimp town, but since the tourism they've paid most the shrimp farmers to dock their boats permanently. I thought it was a great shot.

This was the casa we stayed in. Huge 4 bedroom right on the beach in Playa la Jolla.

Me, the Developer, Petur & Ryan
(Why do I always gotta be the youngest?)

The beach and water was so incredible it looked like a Photoshop illustration. So I took a picture myself to see how magnificent it really was.

Just love everybody

This great excerpt from a workshop of Abraham in Houston came across my desk today. I believe (as many of you know) greatly in the Law of Attraction.

"Just love everybody that interacts with you no matter how personally, or how peripherally, involved with you they are. The efficiency of the people who deal with you... everything is orchestrated by the manager called Law of Attraction. And your vibration is setting all of it into motion. Everything affecting you is a reflection of the vibration that you are emitting. Spend more time focused upon your dream than upon the reality. The reality gives birth to the dream -- but the dream is where you are wanting to put your attention."

So I'm gonna keep on dreaming...

Clinton 2008!

Go Hillary!

Inspirational Movie

Click on image above for the movie

The Teachings of Abraham

Abraham has changed my life immensely since my discovery of them last fall (2006). Esther Hicks is an inspirational speaker who dialogs with a group of spiritual teachers who call themselves Abraham.

Being raised a Jehovah's Witness until I was 19 and leaving on my own, I was left with many uncertainties and doubts in life. Over the last 10 years I mistook how detrimental lack of spirituality was in my life. Lack of belief - in the world and most importantly, one's self. But Christianity, drenched in hypocrisy, lies and guilt, wasn't anything that attracted me. Nor, for that matter, any other religion that claims it is the "true" religion.

Abraham along with many other helpful teachers over the last year have taught me more about who I am and helped me see things more clearly. About 5yrs ago Abraham said, "You are killing more of each other every day over your quarrels over religion than all other things put together, because you cannot even come to an agreement about what you think God says, or wants for you. On one side of the world God wants something different than the other. On one side of the room, in one side of your mind, God wants something different than on the other. The power is within you. You are extensions of this powerful Source Energy. You are literally God expressing in this physical body. And so, as you are standing in a thought, or in a word, or in an action that feels good to you as you are standing there--then you are fully open and allowing all of that Divine Energy to flow through you. And in that moment you are all that you said you would be when you decided to come forth into this body. You are the extension of pure positive energy. You are in your full creative power. You are thriving. You are clear-minded. You are joyful. You are filled with love. You are who you are--you are allowing that which you really are."

Few words have ever rang clear as well as those have for me. The more I've been able to connect with ME, the better my relationships with others have become.

Abraham Website

NEW YEARS 2007

Marcus and I had a very special New Years this time around. Our good friends David and John got engaged. David took John out to a very special dinner and popped the question. Of course John accepted it! We met up with them at the Kanon Art Gallery on Santa Fe Street around 11:00, but started the partying early at our favorite girls' (Lisa, Jill and Cassie) house around 9:00!

Clearly Marcus' prom date (Lisa) still loves him.

Marcus and Jill got started on shots early

Lisa chugs the Champaign and apparently...
Cassie thinks licking the bottle adds a bit of "sexy" to it.

Nathan & Jill (Awwwww...)

CLEARLY I was the one that had to drive us over to the "engagement party" because Marcus was becoming delusional thinking he was all straight or something...




Maybe he's just trying to make up for being SO DAMN MORMON on Prom Night. HA HA Get it!!





On to David & John's party...

DJ Kevin Zolitor spun while we enjoyed cocktials

Afterwards, a few of us went to Nick Apel's place to hang out and well...
BEFORE WE KNEW IT - We got to experience the first Sunrise of 2007.
It was nothing short of completely jaw-dropping! (This picture does it NO justice!)