Dreaming about Jesus

Had this dream yesterday and woke up laughing my ass off.

So the dream starts off with me at some sort of religious gathering, like Easter or something. I'm there with my family and even helping out with the services. (Which is ironic considering I get wheezy anytime I come near a church!)

Then somehow, out of the hundred plus people there, I AM THE ONE THAT GETS CHOSEN to go bury Jesus body. WHAT?? ha ha I'm given a slip with an address and told I need to bury Jesus there.

Of course I enlist the help of my sister. Donielle is gaggy and bitching, but being a total sport and we get outside, and have no clue where the place is. My car isn't reliable, so we ask my mom to drive and she gets defensive and says, "Ummm, I got a fucking pound of cocaine in my car. I can't get caught with coke AND Jesus' dead body!"

Donielle and I look at each other in disbelief. "YOU'RE DRIVING!" We get Jesus loaded up, and find out the building is only 2 blocks away. My mom is pissed that she took a risk for only two blocks and kicks us out. Jesus is thrown to the curb!

We realize we have to bury him on the rooftop, just one problem. When we get inside, they're working on the elevators. JUST OUR LUCK. Now we have to carry Jesus up 18 flights of stairs. I was in the lead and Donielle took up the tail. Right when we're almost at the rooftop, we run into two of my gay friends who just became Daddy's. They stop us in the hall and are showing me their new baby girl. I get distracted and Donielle is left with Jesus. She goes up top and buries him. It kind of gets fuzzy from there... but hell... I don't know if I could take anymore!

State of the Soul

My friend Zack asked me tonight what was my "state of soul". I might be accused of being "deep" but I had to reply with, "What do you mean?"

I had just finished telling him about my latest state of affairs and he helped put things into perspective a bit. He said, "Perfect love casts out all fear." Now I've heard this quoted before usually with religious reference talking about unconditional love from God. But, tonight I thought, how about our acceptance of each other? Maybe that's why he asked about my state of soul. How comfortable am I with everything that's gone down in the last three weeks? I've been having a very hard time without Marcus. I love him and miss him dearly. But maybe that love needs to start shedding some fears, ya think?

When is love conditional and when is it unconditional? When it casts out all fear?

Last night I broke down uncontrollably. In hindsight it was embarrassing, but at the time I was simply scared and lonely. I called Marcus in a moment of weakness and quickly realized my mistake. After few words, I hung up feeling even worse and knew I needed to "get it together".

The truth is I do love Marcus... unconditionally.

When I am struggling, I need to remind myself of times like now when I am clear minded.

Since the very beginning I've never wanted to change a thing about him. He's not perfect, but he sure as hell is perfect to me. I've only wanted the best for him and nothing has changed. I went back and read the "testimony" I left him four days after we split up.

"Marcus – There’s absolutely nothing I can say or write that will come close to expressing how deeply I care for you and how grateful I am for the last four years – the best four years of my life thus far. You’ve inspired me beyond imagination and helped me learn that it takes no time to fall in love, but it takes years to truly know what love is. --- You’re my best friend, and always will be. I know you know this! But you also need to know that I’ll be your other brother – another love to come and comfort you - and I’ll keep reminding you (if it’s the only thing I ever do) that I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

More than anything, I want to see you succeed gloriously in this world. Make your mark, take a bite out of it, shake it, take control and you will inevitably wind up finding for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you. --- As our song says: “I will be the answer, at the end of the line. I will be there for you, while you take the time. In the burning of uncertainty, I will be your solid ground… Cause I can only tell you what I know, that I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE. When the stars have all gone out, you’ll still be burning so bright.”

I find it ironic that only four days after ending the most amazing relationship in my life, I was able to think that soundly. I guess my feelings are going to fluctuate - but I have a lot to be thankful for and I'm going to focus my attention there as best I can.

Marcus - If you ever end up reading this, I hope it doesn't bother you that it's on my blog for family or friends to read. If it bothers you, I'll promptly remove it. It's become a bit therapeutic for me and I don't fear being a bit open about it.

Marcus, you deserve all the love and praise my soul inevitably pours out. I can't thank you enough for loving me as purely as you do and helping me see that it's equally as safe for me to love you without limitation. If I've caused you to worry - don't. I'm very strong and I'm only growing stronger. Before you I had so much clouding my mind. But, the uncertainty and "ghosts" are gone now. You've instilled a bright hope in me - a new dream of becoming more at peace with myself and content with my own soul. I will not let this hope be distorted by internal needs or external influences. I will remind myself that this hope is a gift from YOU. One that I will cherish for eternity.

So the next time when someone asks, what is my state of soul? I have an answer.

"Finding some peace."

Mexico - Villa Cortez

Well it was definitely nice to get away for a while in Mexico. I went to Puerto Penasco, which is about 2 hours south of Phoenix, AZ. So the flight was cheap ($91 round trip) and it was an easy car drive.

This area of Mexico has only been "touched" by Americans really over the last two years and WOW, what a difference. It's BOOMING there. The purpose of this three day trip was to investigate a development that my development sales and marketing team - Fuse - is considering selling. The project is called Villa Cortez and there will be more about it on my real estate blog soon.

Here are some pictures from the trip.

Soon as we got off the plane we were STARVING... went to an authentic Mexican Restaurante!

After lunch we took a boat out along miles of the coast to see all the new development.
This town used to be a huge shrimp town, but since the tourism they've paid most the shrimp farmers to dock their boats permanently. I thought it was a great shot.

This was the casa we stayed in. Huge 4 bedroom right on the beach in Playa la Jolla.

Me, the Developer, Petur & Ryan
(Why do I always gotta be the youngest?)

The beach and water was so incredible it looked like a Photoshop illustration. So I took a picture myself to see how magnificent it really was.

Just love everybody

This great excerpt from a workshop of Abraham in Houston came across my desk today. I believe (as many of you know) greatly in the Law of Attraction.

"Just love everybody that interacts with you no matter how personally, or how peripherally, involved with you they are. The efficiency of the people who deal with you... everything is orchestrated by the manager called Law of Attraction. And your vibration is setting all of it into motion. Everything affecting you is a reflection of the vibration that you are emitting. Spend more time focused upon your dream than upon the reality. The reality gives birth to the dream -- but the dream is where you are wanting to put your attention."

So I'm gonna keep on dreaming...

Clinton 2008!

Go Hillary!

Inspirational Movie

Click on image above for the movie

The Teachings of Abraham

Abraham has changed my life immensely since my discovery of them last fall (2006). Esther Hicks is an inspirational speaker who dialogs with a group of spiritual teachers who call themselves Abraham.

Being raised a Jehovah's Witness until I was 19 and leaving on my own, I was left with many uncertainties and doubts in life. Over the last 10 years I mistook how detrimental lack of spirituality was in my life. Lack of belief - in the world and most importantly, one's self. But Christianity, drenched in hypocrisy, lies and guilt, wasn't anything that attracted me. Nor, for that matter, any other religion that claims it is the "true" religion.

Abraham along with many other helpful teachers over the last year have taught me more about who I am and helped me see things more clearly. About 5yrs ago Abraham said, "You are killing more of each other every day over your quarrels over religion than all other things put together, because you cannot even come to an agreement about what you think God says, or wants for you. On one side of the world God wants something different than the other. On one side of the room, in one side of your mind, God wants something different than on the other. The power is within you. You are extensions of this powerful Source Energy. You are literally God expressing in this physical body. And so, as you are standing in a thought, or in a word, or in an action that feels good to you as you are standing there--then you are fully open and allowing all of that Divine Energy to flow through you. And in that moment you are all that you said you would be when you decided to come forth into this body. You are the extension of pure positive energy. You are in your full creative power. You are thriving. You are clear-minded. You are joyful. You are filled with love. You are who you are--you are allowing that which you really are."

Few words have ever rang clear as well as those have for me. The more I've been able to connect with ME, the better my relationships with others have become.

Abraham Website

NEW YEARS 2007

Marcus and I had a very special New Years this time around. Our good friends David and John got engaged. David took John out to a very special dinner and popped the question. Of course John accepted it! We met up with them at the Kanon Art Gallery on Santa Fe Street around 11:00, but started the partying early at our favorite girls' (Lisa, Jill and Cassie) house around 9:00!

Clearly Marcus' prom date (Lisa) still loves him.

Marcus and Jill got started on shots early

Lisa chugs the Champaign and apparently...
Cassie thinks licking the bottle adds a bit of "sexy" to it.

Nathan & Jill (Awwwww...)

CLEARLY I was the one that had to drive us over to the "engagement party" because Marcus was becoming delusional thinking he was all straight or something...




Maybe he's just trying to make up for being SO DAMN MORMON on Prom Night. HA HA Get it!!





On to David & John's party...

DJ Kevin Zolitor spun while we enjoyed cocktials

Afterwards, a few of us went to Nick Apel's place to hang out and well...
BEFORE WE KNEW IT - We got to experience the first Sunrise of 2007.
It was nothing short of completely jaw-dropping! (This picture does it NO justice!)

Xmas at Our Place

Marcus and I had my brother and his family, along with Donielle and Jonas over for the day. I wish I had taken more pictures!! I'll have to get them off Donielle's camera. Little Jaden arrived asleep, but that didn't stop him from laughing or smiling WHILE he slept. It was way too cute!

Matt's Family and Marcus & I had a large brunch in the morning. My omelette's were fantastic... or so they SAID. Anyway, Donielle and Jonas arrived later around 4:00 but we didn't get around to eating dinner until about 5 or 6pm. I have to admit I was pretty tipsy all day from the Mimosa's and on!

Donielle arrived ready to party

Jaden arrived asleep... but check this video out (sorry it's sideways)



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Anyway, once he woke, he was in a great mood and sported his Sailor outfit quite well.

MATTHEW'S FAMILY

Zach, Tammy, Jaden, Matt

Crazy Snow

I don't know about the rest of y'all, but we easily got almost 3 feet down by our place. Here's a crappy before photo... and after photo. We were snowed in Wednesday until about Friday morning. Oh well... we burned wood all day and played games. What else ya gonna do?

BEFORE

AFTER

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Here's another picture after I got out of the house and shoveled the walks.

Marcus at Kyle's Wedding

This is a short clip of Marcus and I cracking up at one of his friend's "hippie" wedding. It was very interesting to say the least. Up in Genesse, CO on a VERY foggy cold morning. There were about 14 different songs that everyone present was supposed to sing during different parts of the wedding. WOW... how unique! I mostly chuckled the whole time.

Chanel's first Xmas

My best friend Rebecca had her first child (little baby girl) right around the same time as Jaden was born. In fact, a few days after.

Doyle and Rebecca (Dad & Mom) are the ones in the Keystone pictures below both dressed in black. They live in Keystone as well.

Here is Chanel Richmond's first Xmas Picture.

Great Political Ad for Stemcell Research

Updated picture of my nephew Jaden

sending from my phone

My first nephew!

Matt & Tammy just had a baby boy. Small but cute and chubby, 7lbs 6oz.

Introducing:
Jaden Allen Hildreth

Jaden's older brother Zach (8) is going to take good care of him.

Wine, Jazz & Art Festival in Keystone

Love Doyle and Rebecca for inviting us to a wonderful wine tasting in Keystone. These pictures should say enough... but don't wine tastings always get out of hand?

And just so ya know, it takes a gay man to wear a light suede jacket to a wine tasting and get nothing on it! Amen!

It started off innocent enough...

Then Jen & Marcus started it all.

Rebecca wasn't about to be outdone
(and Nathan was thinking up something evil)

Who's that crazy lady behind us?
(oh wait, that's Lynn!)

We know you're faking it.

Stogie anyone? or perhaps Chop Sticks?

Last almost normal picture

I'm clearly the ossifer!

With a sick imagination!

He's panning for something.

Her look says enough!

"This festival is moving to our house!" Grab the wine!

Sneaking in a kiss on Jen!

Oh my god, don't even ask!!
Shannar & Marcus visibly completely intoxicated.

Tiesto - May 2006

Marcus treated me to the best birthday present just a week before my 30th Birthday. We went to see Tiesto at Vinyl. We met up with Donielle and Jonas before heading over. Marcus also got my Tiesto shirt (that he was wearing) signed by the DJ himself.

Black Tie Annual Gala Dinner for The Tennyson Center for Children

You'll have to forgive me, but I've spent so much time on my business blog that I neglected to get going on my personal blog.

I'm so excited to share some of the great experiences I've had this year. One was definitely the Black Tie Annual Gala Dinner for The Tennyson Center for Children. On October 17th, my friend David Sevick invited me to join. It was at the Korbel Ballroom at the Colorado Convention Center. The Tennyson Center for Children at Colorado Christian Home has grown to become the Rocky Mountain region's largest treatment center and K-8 school for abused and neglected children, ages 5-19. They are dedicated to ensuring that these amazing kids are given back the childhood which was so wrongfully stripped from their lives and that the cycle of abuse and neglect is broken once and for all.

I learned a lot about this great organization, and if you want to check it out too, go to: http://www.tennysoncenter.org/

A picture from the dinner - David, Me, Travis, Morris

The Secret

A few months ago Marcus and I discovered

a movie that changed our lives.

Now I realize that statement may seem a bit extreme. But few things have impacted my life as much as the information I learned by watching this movie. Click on the image below to check out the trailer.